


If I hadn't let you

by bledrakon



Category: DRAMAtical Murder - All Media Types
Genre: Clear's Bad End, Love, M/M, Post-Canon Fix-It, Trauma, Violence
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-09-13
Updated: 2016-03-21
Packaged: 2018-04-20 12:45:37
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,604
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4787696
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bledrakon/pseuds/bledrakon
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Bad end fix-it AU where Koujaku finds out about Aoba being in Oval Tower used for experiments. He saves him from Clear and helps him to 'recover'</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Loose Ends](https://archiveofourown.org/works/3620313) by [Ahmerst](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ahmerst/pseuds/Ahmerst). 



> This story was inspired by Loose Ends from Ahmerst, you should read his/her story, it's great.

****

#  Chapter 1 

****  


Ren arrived to his place one day, that’s when he found out. The poor AllMate was dirty, with some broken parts and malfunctions. He didn’t now what to think when he said it, when Ren said Aoba was trapped and needed someone to save him. He asked Ren where was Aoba and he said in Platinum Jail, trapped in Oval Tower. 

Koujaku asked Ren to explain what happened, so Ren did. He said that Aoba was with Clear when someone attacked them, they looked just like Clear, but had some evil on them. Ren was disposed and Aoba was took for experiments, while Clear for some “reparations”. Koujaku then asked about how much time had it passed since this incident, and he wanted to die when he heard the answer… 1 year, that’s what Ren said. That was the time it took the AllMate to restart himself and find a way out of Platinum Jail. 

Koujaku hadn’t heard of Aoba for one year, but when he asked Tae-san about him, she said he was in a trip with a friend and wasn’t going to return in some time. He didn’t worry, since he new Aoba wouldn’t do something stupid that would put his life in danger, but he was wrong. Aoba was now trapped in Oval Tower, used for some kind of experiments that Koujaku knew were nothing good.

Koujaku had ways to enter Platinum Jail, so he did. He took only his sword, nothing more, he didn’t need anything else, he was just going to slash every single person that came in his way in Oval Tower, no one would be spared. He was going to find Aoba, even if it costs him his life.

He entered Oval Tower by killing the guards, they didn’t put much of a fight, and he continued he path this way, by killing whoever crossed his way. He entered a different wing of the building, it was full of different rooms. He walked through the hallways, opening each at a time, founding different and horrifying things in some, and empty rooms in other. He killed about 5 or 6 people, or should he think of them as robots, who looked like Clear.

He continued walking, opening rooms and slashing robots until he found it. He opened the room and found a cell inside the room, there was a man with white hair standing at the other side of the bars in front of a metal bed, tending to someone. Koujaku recognized the man with white hair as Clear, because of the clothes he was wearing. Clear moved and turned because of the opening of the door, that’s when Koujaku saw it. He saw Aoba’s blue hair, it wasn’t its lightly blue anymore, it was opaque. He had a black bandage on his eyes, making his pale skin look paler. Without a second thought Koujaku entered the room and slashed Clear, he knew he was the one responsible for this, he knew that Clear was the one to blame for what have been done on Aoba.

Then he got closer to the table where Aoba lay, he was paler than what he remembered and thinner, he was skin and bone, nothing more. He was covered with a white sheet waist down. Koujaku removed the sheet, but he already knew what he was going to find. No legs, Aoba’s legs where cut before where the knee should be. The end of the leg, if it could be called that way, was covered with a black bandage, the same as the eyes. He thought of the worst for Aoba’s eyes, but he didn’t have the courage to look under the bandage. So he just wrapped Aoba on the white sheet and walked out of there. In his way out, he founded Toue so he cut his head off with just one slash, while grabbing Aoba with his other arm. He was more than angry, he wanted that monster to be death, without any possibility of getting ‘resurrected’. Anyone could recover from an stab in the stomach, having the correct medical equipment, but until now Koujaku haven’t heard of anyone that could reattach a head after being cut.

Koujaku went to his place, he didn’t want Tae-san to find out about Aoba’s condition, at least not for now. He lay Aoba on his bed and watched the different expression in his face, it was hard to notice bu he did. During all they way home, he felt Aoba’s tension, like he didn’t know that the one carrying him was Koujaku even though he talked to Aoba trying to make him answer. When Aoba touched the soft bed he realized that he was no longer going to be played with, he was free and maybe safe. He was out of that horrible cell, and maybe even away from Clear. 

Koujaku called a doctor, one he new would work this late in the night and that wouldn’t ask to much questions about what happened. In the time the doctor arrived, Koujaku dressed Aoba with one of his old t-shirts and some boxers, they were big on him but Koujaku didn’t mind, he just wanted Aoba to fell better with more dignity.

The doctor arrived and Koujaku let him see Aoba without explaining anything. The doctor was astonished by the looks of his patient, a guy with no legs, with a high level of malnutrition, and a bandage in his eyes that hid what was behind it. He got closer to Aoba and turned his head to Koujaku, asking for permission to remove the bandages form his eyes, Koujaku nodded: The doctor started talking to Aoba, receiving nothing in return, he explained who he was and what was he going to do. When the doctor first touched Aoba’s face, he tensed up. Aoba’s expression changed and his body tried to move, with no success because of the lack of strength. The doctor said he didn’t need to worry, that he was there to help him, not hurt him, but Aoba didn’t change. 

The doctor finished taking off the bandages and Koujaku knew immediately that what he most feared was true, there were no eyes behind his lids, Clear had taken out Aoba’s eyes. The doctor looked inside Aoba’s eyes lids, explained everything of what was he doing, but that didn’t kept Aoba from tensing even more. The the doctor inspected his body, lifting the t-shirt a little so he could fill the heart beats and look at his malnourished body. Then he got to his legs, taking out the bandage and observing the cut. When finished the doctor put the bandages in place and asked Koujaku for a minute outside. Koujaku followed the doctor, leaving Ren and Beni in charge of Aoba.

“How is he?” he asked, with fear of the answer that was going to be given to him.

“It’s difficult, but I think that with the right care he’ll eventually get better.

“About his eyes and legs…”

“They were removed surgically, they were perfectly cut and extracted. They are clean, but I recommend cleaning his eyes once in a while, I’ll tell you what to use and how to do it. He’s level of malnutrition is high, it’ll take time but I personally think that with the right diet he will get better.” the doctor made a pause and continued. “I’m not saying he’s in a good condition but I believe that with the right care he’ll get better. What I’m really worried about it’s his mental state. I’m not a psychologist but I know that he had some kind of trauma and his consciousness hid himself to protect him from any more pain.”

“Do you have any recommendation?” Koujaku asked

“Patience. I don’t really know since I’m not a psychologist but I recommend to go slowly and with patience, don’t press him. And another thing, he won’t say it but I bet he’s in a lot of pain, I’ll give you some analgesics for him.”

“Thank you”

&nbsp

The doctor gave a prescription to him, with the analgesic and the instruction on how to take care of Aoba’s eyes. Then Koujaku paid him and he left. Koujaku entered the room where Aoba, Ren and Beni were, he guessed Aoba was asleep because of his breath, Ren beside him. Koujaku got closer to Aoba and observed him. He noticed thing he didn’t before, he noticed Aoba’s arms had bruises, he was paler than what he originally thought and he’s hair was really dirty. He always loved Aoba’s hair, but he wasn’t permitted to touch it because of the sensibility it had. He decided to give a bath to Aoba tomorrow, and clean him carefully.

That night Koujaku slept on his sofa, it wasn't comfortable but he slept well, knowing that now Aoba was in good hands, and hoping he would get better


	2. Chapter 2

# Chapter 2

Koujaku woke up the next morning, he took a shower and decided to go shopping the things he needed for Aoba, his medicine and what he needed to clean his eyes. Before leaving he made sure Ren knew he was leaving, and that the AllMate was beside his sleeping owner. Koujaku stepped out of his apartment, still not sure if leaving Aoba alone was a good idea, but Ren was with him and Beni was in Koujaku’s shoulder for any communication needed with Ren. 

Koujaku went first to the pharmacy and bought all the implements he needed for Aoba’s health, after that he decided to go buying some clothes for Aoba so he would have something else to wear since Koujaku only owned kimonos and really few t-shirts. After finishing shopping he returned to his place. He hopped to see Aoba, maybe even moving or something but he knew it was too much to ask for.

He opened the door of his apartment and found Aoba where he left him, nothing different. He went to the bathroom and started preparing the bathtub and everything he may need for Aoba. He returned to the room and went to wake Aoba up. Koujaku wasn’t sure if Aoba was still sleeping or not, but he though he may be still sleeping because of his breath. He touched Aoba’s shoulder and he tensed up.

“It’s me Aoba, it’s Koujaku.” He said in a calm tone, he wanted to remind Aoba where he was, that he was safe. Aoba relaxed a little, but not completely. “It’s time for a bath. I’m going to move Ren to the floor, okay?” He waited for an answer of any type, a movement, a word, a sound… but nothing came from Aoba.

Koujaku placed Ren on the floor and moved Aoba to the sofa, so it would be easier to undress him. When Koujaku finished undressing him, he got him into the tub. Aoba relaxed at the feeling of the water and Koujaku guesses that it had been a long time since he last bathed.

Koujaku started with the hair, washing each strand with care. He told Aoba that he could make any signal if he was hurting him, and Aoba did, trembling when Koujaku pressed to hard or pulled a strand without knowing. With this method Koujaku continued washing Aoba’s hair. Then he washed his body. This was way easier and Aoba didn’t complain to much, except when Koujaku got to his intimate parts. Because of Aoba’s reaction, Koujaku concluded that Clear had done more than cutting off Aoba’s legs and taking out his eyes. 

When he finished washing Aoba, he drained the tub and wrapped Aoba in a towel. He was starting to relax more at Koujaku’s movements around him, realizing Koujaku wasn’t going to hurt him. Koujaku finished drying Aoba and then got him dressed with some of the new clothes he just bought, they were a bit big on him, but it was because of the loss of weight Aoba had suffered.

The Koujaku sat Aoba a¡on the couch, Ren in his lap, and went to the kitchen to make lunch. He decided on soup, since it would be easier for Aoba to eat. After finishing cooking, Koujaku served a portion of soup into a middle size bowl, took a small spoon and went to sit beside Aoba. He tried feeding him, but at first he didn’t react to the touch of the spoon in his lips. It took a while until he reacted to the spoon, he opened his mouth to let the it pass but still most of the soup was spilled and fell into Aoba’s lap. Koujaku didn’t mind, Aoba was eating and that’s all he minded; but that didn’t last for long.

When Aoba had eaten/spilled half of the bowl he stopped eating, he didn’t opened him mouth anymore. Koujaku tried in many ways, but couldn’t make Aoba eat anymore. Koujaku knew that Aoba has decided he didn’t want anymore food, and he there was no way to change his mind about it.

Then Koujaku tried giving Aoba his medicine, which created a big ‘fight’ between him and Aoba. Koujaku had bought the medicine in tablets, but knowing Aoba wouldn’t swallow the complete tablet he decided to grind it and put it in some water, but even though all this effort, Aoba wouldn’t open his mouth. Koujaku wanted to shout at Aoba for his stubbornness but he knew it wouldn’t be good for Aoba. He needed to be patient with him, not pressing him too much.

After an hour, Aoba finally opened his mouth and Koujaku forced the medicine down his throat. Aoba made a disgusted face but Koujaku didn’t mind, he was glad he finally made Aoba take his medicine. Then it was time to clean his eyes, but Koujaku decided to let him rest for some time.

Koujaku decided on watching Aoba, while waiting for the time to clean his eyes, he was waiting for a change in Aoba. Maybe in a slightly movement, a change in expression, anything would be fine, but nothing changed. Aoba’s expression was empty, Koujaku could tell without needing to see Aoba’s eyes. He concluded that Aoba was alive, but he wasn’t living anymore. Clear had taken away Aoba’s life, he had left Aoba empty. But he was going to change that, Koujaku was going to return the life to Aoba.

After four hours, Koujaku decided it was time to clean Aoba’s eyes. He brought the necessary materials to the couch where Aoba sat, Koujaku sat beside.

“I’m going to take the bandage of your eyes, okay? The doctor said I need to clean them so there would be no infection.” Aoba said nothing. 

Koujaku started taking Aoba’s bandages and Aoba got nervous, Koujaku bet he didn’t want him doing that, but he could do anything in response. Koujaku finished taking Aoba’s bandage off and stared at his eye lids, they looked beautiful. But what Koujaku really wanted to see were Aoba’s eyes. He wanted to see them again, the light and the life they reflected. After spacing a little bit about Aoba’s eyes, Koujaku took the cloth and wet it in the liquid the doctor recommended. He just touched Aoba’s eyes when he suddenly turned his head violently. Aoba didn’t want Koujaku to touch his eyes, and he was doing the best he could to stop him from doing so. 

“Aoba” Koujaku said seriously. “i need to clean them, I promise I’ll do it fast but you need to let me do it.” Aoba didn’t move, still facing away from Koujaku.

“Come on Aoba.” Koujaku tried again to clean his eyes and Aoba turned his head again. “Aoba!” Koujaku shouted and Aoba stood still. “I’m going to clean your eyes, if I don’t you’ll catch and infection and it will get worse.” Koujaku didn’t want to shout at Aoba, but he needed him to stay still. 

After that, Koujaku cleaned Aoba’s eyes without him moving, but he could feel that Aoba was more tense, and Koujaku knew it was his fault. After cleaning his eyes he put back the bandages over Aoba’s eyes and went to leave the materials he used to the kitchen. When he returned, Aoba had not moved an inch. Koujaku decided it was time for him to sleep but when he touched Aoba he saw something he hadn’t seen before, Aoba’s face was full of fear. Every single part of his body was full with fear and tense, like he was ready to receive some kind of punishment or something even worse.

Koujaku felt terrible, it was his fault that Aoba was like this again, full of fear. Koujaku decided to sat beside him, and do nothing, he wanted to show Aoba that he was not going to hurt jim. After awhile Aoba relaxed and fell asleep; Koujaku carried him and laid him down in bed, then covered him with the bed sheets, putting Ren beside him.


	3. Chapter 3

The months passed and no change was seen in Aoba. Koujaku left all the days to work, leaving Aoba on the sofa with Ren in lap. Beni was the only mean he had to communicate with Ren, since he was an old model. Ren was in charge of noticing Koujaku any changes in Aoba, even the slightest change. 

 

After about 10 months, Koujaku received a message from Ren, saying Aoba had started petting him not long ago. Koujaku was in the middle of cutting a woman’s hair, but he didn’t mind and left in that instant, leaving the poor woman with her uneven hair style.

 

Koujaku arrived gasping for air to his apartment, he opened the door and found Aoba petting Ren. He was moving he hand around the same place over and over again, moving his fingers through Ren’s fur. Koujaku was more than happy, Aoba was moving! And it wasn’t because someone was going to hurt him but because he wanted to show affection towards someone that was dear to him. Aoba continued petting Ren all day, and so the next day, and the one that followed that, etc.

 

Aoba’s movement started improving, slowly but gradually. He went from moving just a hand, to moving till his elbow, until he could move both his arms entirely. He started touching everything that was around him, so Koujaku had to be careful with what he left near Aoba, if not he could hurt himself. While Aoba’s condition improved, Ren went from bad to worse. He could now barely move and his voice had started malfunctioning. Koujaku wanted to take him to a mechanic, but was afraid Aoba would react in face of this action.

 

After some months, when Ren’s condition was almost beyond repairing, Koujaku made the decision to take Ren for repairing. Koujaku talked to the mechanic before taking Ren to him, he asked him to fix Ren the fastest he could and to start tonight, the mechanic was a little reluctant at first, but Koujaku was a friend of his and was willing to pay a good amount of money. So Koujaku put his plan into action.

 

One day he put Aoba to sleep early, and when Koujaku was sure Aoba was asleep he took Ren from his master’s grip and walked calmly to the mechanic. He gave Ren to the mechanic saying he will be back in 4 days, the date the mechanic told him Ren would be ready. Koujaku thought 4 days was great, less than what he had expected, that Aoba wouldn’t miss Ren too much in 4 days, but he was wrong.

 

When Koujaku arrived home he found Aoba on the floor, searching for something or someone that wasn't there, he was searching for Ren.

 

“Aoba!” Koujaku shouted and went directly to Aoba, kneeling beside him. “What are you doing?” he said in a worried tone “You should be in be-“

 

“Ren” he heard Aoba said, interrupting his words. “Ren” Aoba said and patted on the floor, searching for the AllMate. “Ren” his voice was hoarse and full of fear.

“I-I'm sorry” Koujaku said with tears in his eyes “I-I took Ren to the mechanic, and…” his voice broke and he hugged Aoba. He couldn’t bring himself to tell Aoba that Ren wouldn’t be back for the next 4 days, he just couldn’t.

 

“Come on Aoba, let’s get you to bed.” Koujaku positioned Aoba in his arms and took him to bed. Once Aoba was laid down he said “Good night and… I’m sorry”

 

Koujaku turned his back to Aoba and was about to leave and move to the sofa that was currently his bed when Aoba whispered “Kou-jaku?” 

 

Koujaku quickly turned and grabbed Aoba’s hand that was searching for him in the air. “Yes, I’m here Aoba”

 

“Don’t…leave me” Aoba said with a broken voice, tears falling from his eyeless lids. “Please… don’t”

 

“Never, I’ll never leave you Aoba.” Koujaku was about to burst into tears.

 

“Cl-Clear?” this was a real question, should Koujaku tell Aoba that Clear was death, that his worst nightmare had been death for months, or just that he was save.

 

“He- He’s dead, he won’t hurt you ever again.” Aoba’s face relaxed at Koujaku’s words.

 

"Stay" Aoba said.

 

Koujaku make himself space on the bed and sat beside Aoba.

 

"Don't worry, I'm not leaving."

 

That night Koujaku slept on his bed, beside Aoba. It was a peaceful night, no nightmares came to attack the bluenette, no memories of the past came to hunt him; both of them slept in peace, embracing each other, for the first peaceful time in a really long time.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I do not own Dramatical Murder nor its characters.
> 
> I apologize again for any spelling or grammar mistake.

**Author's Note:**

> I don't own Dramatical Murder, nor it's characters.
> 
> I have to apologize for any spelling mistakes or bad use of grammar.


End file.
